NOPE YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL

Sorry ladies, I know we've been told for decades that we can have it all but it's not true. Guys, you either, not true. Here's my evidence. I watched many corporate executives climb the ladder of success just to have their relationships crumble, their children spin out of control, or their health take a nosedive. Many female colleagues opted out of the climb in an effort to "balance" it all, children, husband, and career and still felt unsuccessful.

I remember a conversation with the design manager of a major microprocessor back in the 90's. At the time there was a lot of pressure to get products into manufacturing in half the time with half the people due to intense competition. I asked him how was going to pull it off. He said, "It's all about making the best trade-offs." In order to make the best possible product it would take too many resources and too much time. Late to market with a great product is failure. On time to market with an inferior product is less than optimal. Determining the trade-offs that optimize quality, features, time and resources is the real balancing act. It was an ongoing process during the then two year design periods to determine those trade-offs.

So what if we redefined life balance to mean "Making Optimal Trade-Offs". In this way, it's not about believing you can do or have it all and then feeling like a failure when you fall short. It's about making conscious trade-offs to have the best possible life.

Here's the other thing. One person's trade-off is another person's formula for disaster. So all those well meaning people who give you advice about how to create balance in your life really don't have a clue what you need. YOU are the only person who knows what you need. And in order to figure that out we have to quit listening to all the experts in our lives and listen to our own voice. No, not the voice in your head that sounds like an out of touch grown up. The one at your core that is always whispering to you what you need. Intuition, gut, inner wisdom. Whatever you want to call it. You already have everything you need to have anything you want. Listening to that core voice will guide you toward making the best trade-offs possible for your life.

Here's an example: Sally left her job to stay home till the kids were in school. She convinced herself that she could run a successful home based business while taking care of her toddler. Some of her tradeoffs: Get off the traditional career track to be home with children, work home based while chasing the toddler all day. Work long into the night to finish all the home and work todo's. End result: exhaustion, depression, and a strong desire to throw in the towel.

Then, Sally made one trade-off. Part time day care for the toddler in exchange for focused time to work her business. In three short weeks she is back on track, jumping on opportunities and focusing her energys in chunks of time vs diffusing it all day.

It's all about "Making Optimal Trade-Offs!"